Reflecting on Judah’s Birth
2010
He’s growing up so very fast.
These days he is fascinated with the story of his birth, and so I tell it to him often – sometimes several times a day;
“You decided to come to the world 5 weeks before the doctors thought you should. We’d been in the area for only a few weeks and didn’t really know anyone, but called the friendliest lady from church to drive me to the hospital. Daddy was far away working but he drove to the hospital as fast as he could. No, he didn’t get a ticket for driving too fast.
Upon your arrival to this world you were greeted by a dozen medical professionals. They let me look at you and whisked you away. I didn’t get to hold you until you were one day old. And I couldn’t nurse you until you were about 5 days old.”
He then sighs and tells me “It makes me sad you couldn’t hold me mommy.”
And every time I tell him the story I remember that feeling – the terrible, horrible feeling of having a baby and not being able to hold that sweet newborn right away. Of sitting for hours and hours on end in the NICU simply watching the beautiful person you brought into the world, but not being able to bond physically with that being.
The feeling of emptiness and being so totally out of control.
And while I remember that feeling so well and the horrible-not-so-good events surrounding Judah’s birth like it was yesterday it leaves me with an indescribable joy and thankfulness for my healthy, wildly delightful 3.5 year old that I now have today.
The boy that has of his own volition taken over the vacuuming duties.
The boy that wears size 5 pants because he’s just that tall.
The boy that always has a question on the tip of his tongue.
The boy that can recall almost any detail I ask him about.
The boy that hugs and kisses with fiery passion.
I am so very thankful for the lives of my boys.
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Aw, it made me cry. I love that boy
That almost made me cry too…I didn’t know that Judah was born five weeks early. Did you know that Gideon was born five and a half weeks early for no reason too? But for some reason he was just ready to be here and was perfectly healthy and they couldn’t find a reason to keep him–the Lord was so good…especially since I was so not ready for him yet!
The Lord is good – we were told from 20 weeks on that Judah would likely not live {I went into labor at 20 weeks for unknown reasons.} I am so very, very thankful that He gave us Judah – he’s such a delightful boy
I didn’t know Gideon was early – but I certainly know what it’s like to not be ready!! We had to get a crib, car seat, clothes and diapers while he was in the NICU because we had very little! I am glad Gideon was healthy and ready to go home – Judah was a giant amongst the preemies in the NICU and nothing was seriously wrong, but it was so very hard to have him in there!
I get a knot in my stomach just thinking about not being able to hold my baby. Judah is like a little miracle boy, with all that he endured before arrival… Praise the Lord.