I sat, surrounded by the beauty of a glowing sun and glistening sand. Soothed by the sound of crashing waves. A week of this beauty – a gift so extravagant. My heart was overflowing with thankfulness and, pen in hand, I started to flip to the next blank page in my journal. I wanted to write that God is good.
So good to have given us this beach vacation for a week.
So good to have given me the precious friendship from where the gift stemmed.
So good to have created the beauty.
As the pages turned I saw written in my own writing, time and again, “God is so good.”
And it made me pause.
Pages of brokenness. Pages of worry. Pages of insecurities, of not knowing, of wondering … and yet a continual clinging to the assurance that He is good.
Not all that long ago in the span of one week we had a serious medical problem, Paul was laid off for one week, I lost some cash, a pipe burst and flooded our bathroom, a tree needed to be removed, my car broke down, and our AC broke. All this at a time when Paul had applied for well over one hundred jobs and the only one God provided was a barely-over-minimum-wage job. We were kind of in a low spot.
That week I wrote;
“It is exhausting – and yet we can still say God is good. While reading last night I happened upon Jeremiah 12:5
‘If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses?’
We need to rest. Trusting in the goodness of God and His power.
There is much room for God to work. We are empty.
I cried and had a bit of a pity party for myself today … but God has provided reasons over and over again to trust Him – and joy! Such joy. He is safe. He provides.
He is good. And it is by Him and through Him all things exist and we are in such a unique place to see that this has nothing to do with us. There is nothing in us that adequately provides for ourselves apart from Him. And yet, we have no debt! It is unreal. He is so good.
I am so thankful that we are under the watchful care of the Good Shepherd.
God is teaching me so much about His provision. All that He gives us is, in fact, His.
It hit me so hard that in our absolute lowest God showed us His goodness, and that in this absolute high His goodness was no different.
We cannot measure what is good day (or season) and what is bad day (or season) by our own standard because it is based so much on what we feel.
How easy is it to feel like it is a bad week because the car broke down and yet a good week because we are on vacation?
God’s goodness does not change. We need to be thankful people that accept what He allows to filter through His loving, wise hands. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it makes no sense. Sometimes it hurts. But God is good. Always. This week of staying in a luxurious home overlooking the vast ocean with my sweet family left me so thankful for the generosity of a friend, and thankful for the goodness of our God.
But it also left me with the distinct impression that He is not more good when I feel good and things are going well. He is always good.