Our first week of school was a smashing hit – falling into a routine has been good for all of us; breakfast, learning to read and write exercises, read Paddle to the Sea, a hands on activity related to the book followed up by cuddles on the couch with some more read aloud time from picture books and/or their current chapter book.
This is then followed by outdoor play time, lunch and then Quiet Time where they lay on their beds, in the dark, and listen to an audio book.
It’s been a week of this routine and it has been exactly what we have been craving – routine, structured and predictable.
I am not good at this whole routine thing, but it is a discipline I am trying to develop and I love the peacefulness that comes as a result.
{I had planned to log the events we did related to Paddle to the Sea each week as my extensive Google searches resulted in very little information and I want to share what we are doing as inspiration for those looking for ideas but due to a nasty stomach bug I have done little more than get through our morning routine, albeit later than other mornings. Perhaps it will become the Saturday morning post.}
Our boys want a dog so badly. We aren’t quite ready to handle all that entails and so we do the next best thing – dog sit for our friend’s when they go away!
We have done this a few times now and it is a win-win situation all around. Paul and I have had it confirmed that we are definitely not ready for full time responsibilities of a dog and the boys spend the dog-sitting days feeling like they’ve been given the best gift ever!
Between house sitting and pet sitting we’ve been able to give our boys some experiences that are fun, free, a bit unique and bless others at the same time.
At bedtime the 4 year old wistfully sighs; “We don’t do enough exciting things” and the 3 year old sorrowfully agrees- both with eyes so large you could drown in them.
A daddy determines “We must do something about such a predicament.” And sends them to bed, with promises of spectacular happenings the next morning.
And spectacular happenings did indeed occur. For, to these two boys exciting things isn’t the whirl of activity, the extravagant spending or even, truth be told, about being spectacular at all – it is simply their way of letting us know they want to spend time with us.
They need us.
And so, early Friday morning, we packed a snack of peanut butter sandwiches {to tide us over until brunch} and some stale bread {for the ducks} and went to our favorite local park.
It was simple, to be sure, but sometimes it is the simple things that most loudly scream;
“We see you. We love you. We like you.“
On Monday Paul starts back at school and we decided to jump into a more structured school schedule with Judah and Wesley, starting on Monday too.
Our plan is to home school our children because it lines up with our family goals and because it will be incredibly fun – for all of us! I have poured over homeschool catalogs ever since Judah was a couple months old. Sad? Maybe. But I have a pretty good idea of what direction I want to be going with their education.
I have thoroughly enjoyed books like The Well Trained Mind, The Charlotte Mason Companion and The Read-Aloud Handbook, among several others, all read over the past year or so.
The books, conversations with friends, knowing our family goals and researching dozens of curriculum options have all led us back to the same curriculum over and over again – Classical Conversations.
But that curriculum, or more so the co-op for that curriculum, is currently out of our budget. And friends have advised that it is perhaps money wasted to step into that material prior to first or even second grade. So throughout the summer I have been trying to decide what alternative I wanted to do for this school year.
I looked very closely at Five In a Row and after examining the book and talking with a good friend I decided it isn’t quite for me, though I really like the idea of it.
After probably entirely too much thought I have decided to create my own school course load for the boys for this year. I have found something that has me completely excited and if the teacher is excited the kids are sure to be too, right?!
Starting Monday we will be using Paddle to the Sea by Holling C. Holling – we read through it this summer and love the book. Now we will be rereading it, one chapter {which is only one page in length} per day and doing related activities and reading other books that explore related material.
Really… I feel like a nerd. I am so excited!!
Day one involves a whole lotta this and a butter knife:
Over night one on one dates with our kids are a top priority in our house.
We do casual one on one dates throughout the year- wooing their hearts through simple moments like just one parent and one child running some errands together or one parents and one child curled up together reading books or one parent and one child cooking dinner together.
But twice a year we have determined to make the one on ones a big deal. Because they – the boys – are a big deal.
They aren’t a big deal in the sense that a lot of parents these days are making of their children.
The children that determine their own bedtime, demand their birthday wish list, dictate family dinners and throw temper tantrums when life doesn’t go their way. That *is not* the big-deal type of child I am talking about.
My kids are a big deal because they are mine.
Because God has given them to me.
Because I love them.
My children live relatively simple lives compared to most people in North America.
We don’t own a tv.
They get to watch movies on an itty bitty portable dvd player screen 1-2x a week.
They don’t own many toys, and those they do own they play with. Anything that isn’t played with gets passed on.
They wear second hand clothes.
They drink water 99% of the time and that 1% that they get juice I water it down.
The choices we’ve made for our family are intentional decisions that we feel line up with our values and where we want to be. But we also realize they are weird decisions and we don’t ever want our kids to feel that we have cheated them by choosing to do things differently.
So we work very hard to let them see the thought process behind our decisions, to give them room for input and to woo their hearts with passion and focus.
The one on one dates provide the perfect forum for all of the above with the added bonus of creating a deeper relationship.
Practically speaking one on one dates work seamlessly with our family – with just two children I take one son and Paul takes the other on the same weekend. We have always had one duo sleep at home and the other go to a hotel or go camping. This year we are exploring options for friends homes a couple hours away.
We make a cash budget and depending what activities we chose to do we can either eat out or pick up food at the grocery store. As the boys get older our intentions are to give them control of the budget so that they can learn the importance of managing money.
A lot of our activities are free things – sitting on our knee “driving” in an empty parking lot, feeding ducks, riding the escalator at the mall, stopping at several local playgrounds in a row.
{A highlight for Wesley is always the food!}
They talk about these special dates throughout the year. They recall special moments (usually one of the free activities!) and dream up things to do with mom or dad next time (usually trips to the moon, meeting a real super hero or eating a big stack of pancakes with ice cream on top.)
We aren’t able to commit the same weekends every year, but in the Spring and in the Fall our one on one dates occur (planned that way as we have two summer birthdays and two winter birthdays and we do special activities for those, so we wanted to spread the fun around!) We usually plan which weekend in will be just a couple weeks ahead of time.
Even if your family is larger than two children I would encourage you, if you aren’t already, to tweak the idea of annual one-on-one dates and make it something that works for your family. Make the idea of spending committed, intentional time with your kids a big deal.
Because they are a big deal.
Previous Dates:
With Wesley in the Spring of 2011
With Judah in the Fall of 2010
I have often thought that if I could afford it I’d love to hire interesting people to come and sit and talk with my children daily- expanding my boys worlds through their own experiences and stories and giving me a break from conversation.
It gets exhausting trying to meaningfully converse with my boys all day long, so hiring an interesting conversationalist to sit with my kids for 1-2 hours a day would be the top job I would chose to hire help for!
Since hiring someone to come and sit and talk to them isn’t in the budget we do the second best thing – we invite lots of people over for meals and include our boys in the process.
Our boys {and our!} lives have been enriched by the fellowship we have shared and the relationships that have grown over simple meals around our dining room table.
I appreciate that most of the grown ups that come through our doors enjoy taking the time to ask the boys questions and to answer questions posed to them. These people are helping to teach our children the art of conversation. An art that is fast fading and yet sorely needed.
One way we have sought to encourage our boys to develop meaningful conversations {as opposed to their go-to routine of muscle flexing and talking about their diet of eggs and passing around a measuring tape for unsuspecting guests to then measure their muscles – no joke!} is to prepare them with questions that they can use as a spring board to get to know the guests better.
We spent a few minutes coming up with questions they thought would be interesting to hear about – and included small graphics on the question cards so that they can “read” the cards themselves. They have been such a hit!! The only thing I am going to do differently is make a more permanent set of these cards so we can keep them forever.
I was born for this.
That’s about as deep as I am going – I really mean it, wooden train tracks rock. I have spent hours configuring new tracks and I thoroughly enjoy it.
The boys love that their mommy loves their toys. They like sitting and watching me put it together and, when I complete one, they cheer, run a train or two through, and then ask me to build a new one.
This has been the best toy to sit and play with together – what do you enjoy playing with your kids?
Chicago is a gorgeous city – within minutes of walking around the streets we both noticed how clean the streets and sidewalks were.
We used the Metra to get into the city – we parked our car at the Park & Ride in Joliet for $1 for the entire day and then rode the Metra to the end of the line, which brought us into the heart of the city. Riding on a weekend costs $7 per adult and the ticket is valid for the entire weekend. Children are free.
In front of the Sears Tower {which is no longer officially called that…}
Arriving in Chicago we walked several city blocks following elusive directions.
It would have served us well to have done a little bit of research to figure out exactly which bus we needed {and saved us $10 over the course of the day had we purchased day passes for the bus} but we eventually figured out which bus we needed to take to get to the Lincoln Park Zoo.
{Everyone we asked for directions were so sincerely kind and eager to help, if not always accurate.}
Lincoln Zoo is beautiful – and free! We were there on a Saturday and the crowds weren’t bad at all – though I may have just not noticed the crowds as my online-bloggy friend of 4 years met us at the zoo and we thoroughly enjoyed meeting her and spending that time with her!
Thank you for taking the time to battle the insane traffic to meet us Jessica! {yes, we share a name… that’s probably part of what made us “stick” to each other way back when!}
The Navy Pier was two bus rides away from the zoo and there is plenty to do there without having to spend any money. We meant to ride the Ferris Wheel, but crowds and exhaustion made it easy for us to walk away.
There is a beautiful stained glass mirror exhibit inside that is free to walk through {two images in the first set of pictures} – so worth checking out!
The food is overpriced – even the McDonalds prices were ridiculously inflated – the family in front of me spent $92 for their family of six! Who spends $92 at McDonalds!?
It was nearing 10pm when we left the Navy Pier to head back to the Metra Station to take the train back to Joliet. The boys were fabulous companions – comfortable walking shoes, plenty of snacks and a couple little surprises helped keep them cheerful and good sports through the day.
Our day trip to Chicago was pretty simple. We spent very little money apart from transportation (about $30 total) and food and water.
We played up the excitement of riding a train and the buses and tried to make it part of the fun of Chicago, as opposed to just the means that got us around Chicago. I do believe it worked as one of the highlights of their entire vacation was riding the bus and train.
Raising Boys to be Men
There are times when Paul encourages our sons in dangerous, manly ways that I bite my tongue until the pain distracts me from the fluttering of my heart.
Then there are the other times that Paul is encouraging our sons in dangerous, manly ways and I am hovering right beside them, ready to catch them before they hit the ground – to hug, kiss and mommy away their minor pains and the life lessons they would otherwise learn.
It’s a tricky thing – being a mom and raising the next generation of men. I am thankful for a husband that is strongly investing himself in the lives of his sons – a man that I whole heartily would encourage our sons to grow up and mirror. But just because they have an excellent role model of a man in their father doesn’t mean that I, as their mother, couldn’t completely destroy that which could make them more effective men.
I realize the importance of letting children fail, and when it comes to things that make sense to me it is easy to sit beside them and love them through their failures. But when it is a matter of encouraging their manly ways in a manner that only makes sense to their daddy I often fail.
Just last week on our long drive home from Chicago we followed some highway signs to find a Waterfall. {Love, love, LOVE that about my husband ~ he is so supportive of my crazy need to follow random road signs and waste away hours driving to look at something pretty or cool sounding.} Anyways, we stopped at Cumberland Falls State Resort Park and the boys excitedly followed their daddy – running from one big rock to the next.
I did what I do best when nervousness over their boyish antics sets in – I hovered. I stood right beside them as they started to climb and jump, I anticipated where they would jump so I could soften their fall. I fretted about them falling and getting hurt.
As their jumps became more dangerous and the potential for little scrapes turned into the potential for bigger scrapes I became more obnoxious vocal about my fears. My fears about my children getting hurt. Paul finally sighed, frustrated with my interference with his Lessons in Manliness and shut me up with his gentle reminder; “Babe, we are raising men.”
Oh, right.
We are raising men.
Men that we want to make a difference in the world. Men that will stand up for what they believe in. Men that aren’t fearful.
I have a series of verses I merged together months ago as a prayer for my boys -
It doesn’t leave room for boys that are scared or boys that are needing to be sensitive to their mothers fearful tendencies. Please don’t misunderstand me – I want my boys to be sensitive, but I don’t want my fears to hold them back in life. I want them to follow God with their whole heart – where ever He may lead them. I already pray that I will be able to say goodbye to them with joy and excitement should the day come that they are called far away from me.
When I stopped to look at my little boys jumping from rock to rock, under the wise and loving encouragement of their father, I saw little boys bursting in pride, growing in confidence and pushing themselves further.
And when I reflect upon the two paths I could have followed – one of hovering or one of stepping back – I am so thankful that I stepped back and let them follow in the ways of a man.
Because, after all, we are raising men.
The day we left for Chicago was the same day Paul wrote his final exam for his summer class. Did you know Paul is back at school? I don’t talk much about our every day lives, but that is where he is at. In November his contract with the Army ended and he started school in January.
Adjusting to school has been a learning curve for all of us – but bottom line is we are so enjoying all this extra time we have with him! Having spent the 4 previous years with him being away from us so much having him home for dinner and home for the weekends all the time is such a spectacular gift! We are thankful.
Anyways, almost two weeks ago was the morning of his final for his Humanities class. He’d completed one other condensed summer class, as well as the Spring 2011 class load. I had every intention of celebrating every class final but, um, well, I didn’t.
So while he was sitting in class taking his Final 5 days early so we could head north so he could conduct his friends wedding {which, in case you missed it in the comments, he is not a pastor or ordained or any such thing. You simply need to be licensed in order to marry people, and randomly enough, my husband is licensed} I was at home, suppose to be packing, when I realized I had always intended to celebrate the completion of each class but had, indeed, forgotten up until that moment.
I made a quick search through our almost barren kitchen and pulled together a rather carb-heavy feast to celebrate his hard work over his classes.
We had sugar-free bran muffins {the recipe I shall share soon – I made it up and have made it a few times to make sure I love it. I do love it, but forgot to take pictures of them – you can’t have a recipe without pictures!!}, cinnamon rolls {nothing fancy – I made them from the same bread dough I used for my pigs in a blanket and pizza rolls I made for our trip}, scrambled eggs and this Raspberry Brie Panini that I originally found on Pinterest {are you on there?! I’d love to follow your boards!}
This is so good! I only had pita bread available and it was not spectacular, but I eat with my imagination, and the brie, raspberries and honey combined together were delicious and put in between Belgian or French bread as per the recipe it would be spectacular! Even with the less than stellar pita bread subbing in for a more delicious bread this was good and was the shining star on the brunch menu I created to celebrate Paul’s hard work!
