Day 21
Romancing the hearts of our boys, with the purpose of pointing their attention to Christ, can only be effective if we are daily seeking after Him ourselves. Romance and praying for our children are so closely tied together.
“Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” – {Matthew 12:34} – a true challenge for parents. Those things that we allow to influence and fill our minds and thoughts will, in turn, come out in our interactions with our children.
There has been one man in our life who has faithfully encouraged us {and many other couples!} to make the time to pray together daily. I am so thankful for him – we fall short of this many times, but to know there is someone cheering us on, encouraging the endeavor, sharing how meaningful it has been in his own marriage is a real encouragement.
And so, while we falter at times, we make a great effort to make the time to pray together each night. To pray for each other. To pray for our marriage. To pray for our children. For their lives to be drawn to Christ and for their desire to be to live for Him.
As intentional as we try to be in all that we do we cannot carry our children’s faith and their relationship with God – and so we do what we can to woo and romance them. To be transparent and authentic with them in our own weaknesses and our own need for His grace.
To point our children to Christ in all things. The beauty of His world. The extravagance of His love and mercy. Our need for salvation through Him.
And then we pray for them.
And are so thankful for this incredible privilege of prayer – where we can petition for the lives of our children and for wisdom for ourselves as we venture through this wild thing called parenting.
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Day 20
Reading books is a very important part of our family life – right now we have the wonderful luxury of being able to spend quite a bit of time filling the boys imaginations with stories each day – between our morning and evening routine story times, in addition to the Audio Bible that they listen to in the morning and the audio book that they listen to at Quiet Time their little minds are being filled with books.
We have enjoyed a variety of books together including Charlotte’s Web, Winnie the Pooh, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Sign of the Beaver, Caddie Woodlawn, The Little Prince and David Livingston’s biography.
Read Aloud time as a family is my favorite – especially the times when we pop popcorn and pull out extra blankets to snuggle together.
But more often then not this is what Read Aloud time looks like -
Judah, enthusiastically leaning in – hanging on to every spoken word, obviously mesmerized by the story.
Wesley, on the other hand, sits appearing lost in his own world – listening keenly, but not wanting to give the appearance of such.
He wears hats, balances bean bags on his head. Some days he cuts paper or scribbles masterpieces.
We pause every now and then to ask him a question or two on what we have been reading about just to check on his attention span.
The difference between these two never ceases to amuse me.
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Day 19
Date night hasn’t happened since last week’s date night (which, by the way, we still laugh about – it was that fun!)
We had family come to visit this past weekend – older four children pictured above and all six of the children pictured below. It was a full house and the boys had a blast with their cousins.
So our weekend was busy and then Paul got sick and, well, it just hasn’t happened yet! We have more family coming into town this weekend and all our evenings are full this week so date night just isn’t going to happen this week.
But since Wednesdays are date night themed days during this 31-days of romance series I thought I would share a few fun resources I have found online for date night ideas.
The Dating Divas – Tons of ideas for date night
Nifty Date Ideas – More creative ideas – I especially like the “Indoor” list
Kojo Designs - Super cute twist on a love note
Betty Beguiles – Specific ideas for stay at home date nights, more in the comment section too
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Day 18
Dance with your child.
Hold them close.
Sway to the music.
Laugh while you spin.
Whisper sweet nothings.
Every day.
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Day 18
A very simple way that we seek to romance our boys is through encouraging masculinity in a way that is meaningful to them. And in encouraging their masculinity, we want to encourage them to honor God. And since the point in romancing their hearts is to point them to Christ it seems crucial to me to allow boys to be boys.
All boys are different, so what is manly to my guys may be completely unattractive to other boys – but the point is that as a mom I strive to embrace their masculinity rather than try to make them fit into my mold of proper and un-proper.
For example, these boys like to pee in the bushes in our backyard.
They like to wear super hero capes in public.
They like carrying plastic knives around just in case we’re ever attacked by bad guys.
They like to sword fight.
They ask me to feel their growing muscles on a daily basis.
These are all things that would be completely reasonable for me to not allow or discourage but instead I have seen them enjoy these silly little things and by allowing them it has been a simple way to woo their hearts.
There are, of course, boundaries that have been well established that they are expected to abide by for the sake of safety and responsibility – no running or jumping on the trampoline with their plastic knives, no hitting one another with the swords, make certain there aren’t any neighbors observing them while they pee, etc.
I have found that when they are allowed to do these things that they view as masculine they do, in fact, mature and grow.
And, more importantly, through developing and growing in their idea of masculinity they recognize godly men in the Bible who do these wild and daring things and those are the men the boys play-act. Sampson, David, Daniel – these men who made a stand and allowed God to work through them are men whose stories encourage and influence my boys.
The other night Wesley was praying and he said; “Thank you for making me a Wesley and for all the things You’ve made me able to do.”
That is one of the most important things we want our children to embrace – that they are God’s creation, created to bring Him honor and glory. And while, right now, it is immature and their manliness is manifested in peeing outside and cutting off imaginary Goliath heads I see this great potential to take their ideas of manliness, encourage it and focus it so that whatever they do is centered around honoring and glorifying God.
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Day 16
-Quoted from For the Children’s Sake: Foundations of Education for Home and School
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We Romance the Hearts of our Children for the Cause of Christ
Day 15
I am so excited to share some of my friends thoughts with you all. I have known Rachel’s family since I was a really young girl – I believe a couple of her sisters use to babysit me and one of her brothers and I went on a missions trip to Argentina together when I was 15.
Rachel and I live far apart, but oh how I wish we lived closer! She has a wonderful way with words and a heart that desires to serve the Lord. I love her and am so thankful to know her!
Rachel blogs at Crayon Red Walls: The Joys of Motherhood – stop by to say hello! ~all pictures and further writings in this post are by Rachel~
“My name is Rachel Hughes, a child saved by God’s grace, married to the love of my life and mama to 3 little precious ones. I began blogging in order to challenge myself in these roles and perhaps encourage others who travel down this road with me. So welcome…
Choosing to romance will take time and effort and a willingness to lay aside self in order to cherish someone else completely. As mothers we are called to do this each day. We are called to romance the hearts of our children, to love them with every fibre of our being.
The idea of romance is not new, but in regards to parenting it is sometimes viewed as unnecessary or too difficult. You think this would have come easy for me, a hopeless romantic since the time of childhood. However, we all know that motherhood is not just a sing-along song as it would seem in the Sound of Music where happy children hang from trees all day and sing in perfect harmony.
Motherhood is unscripted and sometimes not at all harmonic. You are dealing with your own selfish flesh as well as the little ones around you. We live in a fallen world. In order for perfect harmony to take place in the imperfect family we must know our place before Christ, clothe ourselves in His perfection and work together as one. At that time, the romance can begin. We romance the hearts of our children for the cause of Christ.
“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Romans 15:5,6)
We speak of the nature of God and at His children they are made in His image and we remind them of their value.
We speak of the loveliness of Christ and His sacrificial death and we remind them of their value.
We speak the greatness of creation all around and we remind them of their value.
We speak of their unique abilities, given to them by God for His purposes and we remind them of their value.
Its the similarities and differences bound together in a family, the beauty of Creation all around us, the loveliness of Christ and the greatness of our God that set the stage for romance. Our children are made in the image of God and they are beautiful to us.
We choose to love the differences that make up our family, however off-pitch we may seem to others – this is our romance rhythm. Though different in person, It is our desire that with one heart and mouth we may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ – using our differences and similarities to bring Him glory.
- We share of ourselves as much as we can. It is important to know what children are thinking. Whether we swing beside them in the park, sit beside them at a campfire or lie beside them before they go to sleep. We make ourselves available to hear of their dreams, fears, questions and answers. The dishes may not get done until dark or dust bunnies may live another day behind the piano but the important thing is our children have been heard. We share our time as much as we can – we share in order to listen and we make moments of listening our top priority. We stop to listen even when they are not talking to us. We listen as they talk to each other or play by themselves. We listen for hurt feelings or discouragement. We listen so we know exactly what to pray for on their behalf. We listen in order to pray. We pray for them and with them and in all of this they know their value.We romance their hearts through listening and prayer.
- We have fun with them as much as we can. It is not enough to hear of their laughter through the kitchen window, we willingly place ourselves in the midst of the laughter. We bring back our own childhood imaginations and play games of hunters and pirates, peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek. We take part in their games and laugh with them. I always notice when they see me laughing there is a look of added sparkle in their eye. The sparkle of romance. I have done something with them that they view as important and they feel valuable. We romance them through laughter and play.
- We accept the differences in each person and we learn to embrace them instead of desiring to change them. We accept these differences by taking them out, just one at a time to their favorite place. One child likes fishing and the other could sit on a machine all day. These things do not always go hand in hand, therefore we make a conscious effort to provide seperate opportunities for them. We romance them by understanding who they are as individuals. When we make it possible for them to enjoy the things they care about without interruption, we express their value and the big smiles on their face tell us they understand completely.
- We allow them to live out their grumpy moments, frustrated moments, sad moments, impatient moments - we see their imperfections and we seek to encourage them each day by turning their eyes towards their Creator who is full of grace and mercy. We are not perfect but we speak of God’s perfection. We romance them through words of encouragement, hope and grace. We build another blanket fort and crawl inside with creamy hot chocolates to share, just to say I love you. Just to let them know how much I care. Just to show them of their value.
“My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and unified in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely Christ.” (Colossians 2:2)
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Day 14 - encouraging your husband
“One of the character qualities that lends itself to being an encourager is gentleness. This quality means that when we discover where another person is vulnerable or sensitive we’re not hard, harsh or forceful. When you discover a tender, sensitive place in your husband you protect it rather than step on it.”
We need to be encouraging our husbands if we want to be romancing them.
“Encouragement means that we believe in the other person’s potential to learn to do something adequately (perhaps not perfectly or your way.)”
Ouch! There is much for me to learn and grow in this area of encouraging.
“When understanding occurs relationships change and blend – in order to encourage a man you need to understand his uniqueness so your efforts at encouraging him can be designed to fit him.”
Quotes from: How to Encourage the Man in Your Life
Day 13
A favorite family activity – kite flying!
In the back of our car resides a small collection of kites, at the ready for a breezy day and an open field. Kite flying is an excellent family activity that everyone can join in on – our boys can’t quite get the kites up into the air, but they enjoy flying them once we get them up there!
I picked these kites up at The Christmas Tree Shops at the end of summer clearance and they are just fabulous. They fly well and the colors are so vibrant and fun!
The Dollar Tree carries kites too – not quite as fun as these, but for $1 they are the best price I have seen and they fly well. I’d recommend buying extra to help avoid any tears that might come from run away kites.
The last time we went out to fly kites together we spent two hours in the field – next time we go I will be packing a picnic as a little bit of food would have made it that much more enjoyable!
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Day 12
Date night happened this week – and really, it was so worth making the effort for. Maybe it’s because we had let it slip for too long but we thoroughly enjoyed our intentional time together doing something a little bit out of the ordinary and it was just the encouragement we needed to remind us of the importance of slipping it into the weekly routine.
This week we did a “You Tube Video Clip Hunt.” I had actually prepared and printed this long ago, back when I did the “Book Store Hunt.”
I wasn’t sure if we would really enjoy but it was seriously SO much fun! We ended up watching clips we never would have otherwise seen, discovered new artists, new places and new games. And we spent most of that time laughing til our sides hurt.
Feel free to print out the above card or to copy any of the ideas if you recreate this for yourself – if you make up new ideas for things to hunt for on You Tube please let me know as this is definitely an activity that we will repeat!!
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