posted by Jessica Lynette on Family

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Emphasizing to my kids that we work as a team has proven to be an extremely effective tool we’ve used over the past several years.

It started when the boys were 2 and 3 years old and I took them to watch Paul, and many others, running the Ironman 70.3. It was a drizzy, overcast day and the boys and I spent 8 hours watching participants swim, bike and run past us. (You can see them in all their cuteness from that day, holding their signs, right here.)

I started to notice these other groups of people that would stand to cheer on their own special runner. “Team David” or “Team Amanda” their signs would read and they would yell and scream and cheer extra loud when their person came by. Certainly, we were already cheering with all our might when Paul would pass us, but seeing the others inspired me and I told them that we were “Team Daddy” – that even though we weren’t the ones covering 70.3 miles we could be on his team by cheering him on and take a part in encouraging him through it.

It really wasn’t meant to be anything deep, but something about them becoming part of “team daddy” inspired their little hearts to want to watch their daddy get through this – as a full fledged member of the team they wanted to see that the team accomplished its goal.
Not only that, but quite a few other runners let the boys know how much it meant to them for the boys to be cheering them on and when Paul finished the race he thanked the boys for their part in helping him get through it — the eight hours of being “team daddy” laid the foundation for them to see the significance of being a team, of working together, of everyone pitching in and doing a part even if our roles aren’t all the same.

Shortly after the Ironman I took the boys, still 2 and 3 years old, on an 18 hour flight across the world. We then took a 6 hour drive to the middle of no where West Africa for 5 weeks, and then turned around and did the 6 hour drive back to the airport and an 18 hour flight home to the USA.

In considering how to prepare two young boys for the trip and the tedious hours, confined spaces, new foods and different culture we would be experiencing I turned to the recently established idea of “teamwork” that had pulled them through the 7 hours of cheering at the Ironman.

I encouraged the boys with this idea that we were going to be a team of three when we traveled – each of us was vital to the other and our goal was to get through it, have fun and enjoy each other. I think we called ourselves “Team Nigeria”.
{I know they are my kids and I am kinda crazy for them and partial to them, but honest, they behaved so well for the trip and surpassed my expectations.}

They already knew first hand from the feedback they got from the runners and their daddy that every member of a team is valuable and it impacted them deeply and inspired them take their role in “Team Nigeria” seriously. They wanted to see our team goals through to the end, and they did their part to contribute to a unified team.

We pulled through 5 weeks in West Africa exhausted and thankful for God’s grace and faithfulness – and as a joyful team.

That was the establishment of teamwork in our family. While we do encourage unity and the essence of teamwork in our day to day lives we only pull out the “Team {insert current activity}” for special situations like long road trips, sitting through excessively long meetings, long absences from Paul or otherwise challenging situations.

Seven ideas to help encourage teamwork in the family:

- Make sure everyone knows what the task at hand is. Discuss how long it will take, what the challenging parts will be, what exciting or fun elements will be involved.

- Establish what the expectations are in terms of attitudes, how to communicate when you are having a really hard time and what happens if the task takes longer than expected.

- Lay out what the end goal is – at the end of the task what do you want to walk away with having accomplished and how do you want to feel about one another?

- Discuss how these goals can best be met, how the children can be encouraged to work towards the goal.

- Make up a team name. Really truly. It may sound a bit cheesy, but only the team need ever know what it is and, at least with younger children, gives a sense of purpose, unity and ‘specialness’ to the whole thing.

- Plan and prepare yourself to lead (or co-lead!) the team. Have snacks, drinks, games, activities, books and/or little “surprises” to help encourage the children through the task.

- Upon completion of the task thank each member of the team – be as specific as possible and encourage them in ways you saw them working hard towards the goal. Then celebrate the completion of the task!

Day 18 of 31 Days of Communicating With Our Children. Click here to see all posts in this series.

Tags: communicating