Every Day I am Raising Men
2011
Raising Boys to be Men
There are times when Paul encourages our sons in dangerous, manly ways that I bite my tongue until the pain distracts me from the fluttering of my heart.
Then there are the other times that Paul is encouraging our sons in dangerous, manly ways and I am hovering right beside them, ready to catch them before they hit the ground – to hug, kiss and mommy away their minor pains and the life lessons they would otherwise learn.
It’s a tricky thing – being a mom and raising the next generation of men. I am thankful for a husband that is strongly investing himself in the lives of his sons – a man that I whole heartily would encourage our sons to grow up and mirror. But just because they have an excellent role model of a man in their father doesn’t mean that I, as their mother, couldn’t completely destroy that which could make them more effective men.
I realize the importance of letting children fail, and when it comes to things that make sense to me it is easy to sit beside them and love them through their failures. But when it is a matter of encouraging their manly ways in a manner that only makes sense to their daddy I often fail.
Just last week on our long drive home from Chicago we followed some highway signs to find a Waterfall. {Love, love, LOVE that about my husband ~ he is so supportive of my crazy need to follow random road signs and waste away hours driving to look at something pretty or cool sounding.} Anyways, we stopped at Cumberland Falls State Resort Park and the boys excitedly followed their daddy – running from one big rock to the next.
I did what I do best when nervousness over their boyish antics sets in – I hovered. I stood right beside them as they started to climb and jump, I anticipated where they would jump so I could soften their fall. I fretted about them falling and getting hurt.
As their jumps became more dangerous and the potential for little scrapes turned into the potential for bigger scrapes I became more obnoxious vocal about my fears. My fears about my children getting hurt. Paul finally sighed, frustrated with my interference with his Lessons in Manliness and shut me up with his gentle reminder; “Babe, we are raising men.”
Oh, right.
We are raising men.
Men that we want to make a difference in the world. Men that will stand up for what they believe in. Men that aren’t fearful.
I have a series of verses I merged together months ago as a prayer for my boys -
It doesn’t leave room for boys that are scared or boys that are needing to be sensitive to their mothers fearful tendencies. Please don’t misunderstand me – I want my boys to be sensitive, but I don’t want my fears to hold them back in life. I want them to follow God with their whole heart – where ever He may lead them. I already pray that I will be able to say goodbye to them with joy and excitement should the day come that they are called far away from me.
When I stopped to look at my little boys jumping from rock to rock, under the wise and loving encouragement of their father, I saw little boys bursting in pride, growing in confidence and pushing themselves further.
And when I reflect upon the two paths I could have followed – one of hovering or one of stepping back – I am so thankful that I stepped back and let them follow in the ways of a man.
Because, after all, we are raising men.
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Bless you! I so understand!
Just BEAUTIFUL.
Thank you so much for sharing this. It was so good and true that I had to read it to my husband.
Great post, Jessica! Mine are now teenagers, and I am hoping I haven't held them back too much…
This is a great post! Very true about women not relating so well to the manliness aspect. I think that is one of the things that is wrong with this nation…the encouragement to have babies out of wedlock and divorce. Too many boys will stay lifelong boys under the extreme influences of so many women.
The pictures look great, you have a wonderful family!
Ah, this is something I struggle with daily! My young boys don't have their father in thier lives to lead them in that way. I often wonder if I will prohibit their manliness because I am always anticipating what could happen. It can actually paralyze me to not want to even leave the house and how sad is that? Thank you for this post! Have a blessed day.
Soooo true!!! I remind myself of this often!!! And you wrote it so beautifully!! I love the verses you but together as a letter!! Blessings to you as you raise your boys!
This is a wonderful post. I often do the same things you mentioned and it's good to remember we are raising men.
Jessica, I am loving your "Romancing" posts. I read through several of them today and they are all so encouraging! My family has always been full of GIRLS…my siblings, my cousins, my children…and now I have my own little boy to love. It's all so new and different and wonderful, so I really appreciate posts like this that help me keep perspective! Can't wait to read through 'Romancing Your Child's Heart'! Thanks for suggesting it!!
Thank YOU for the encouragement!
Visiting from the Mob Society….Thanks so much for the beautifully written piece…My husband OFTEN tells me that very same thing….."I'm raising men here" Thankful for the balance..:)
Thanks for taking the time to comment and encourage!
Thanks for the post. It made me cry because it is so true. Blessings.
I'm a bit late coming to this post, but it is so encouraging to see younger parents finding this truth with their boys! My wife, Karen, and I have raised our three boys with this in mind and now they ARE men. It's amazingly rewarding to see the fruits of those labors!
You are so wise to let their man-hearts grow strong even now when they are young. You won't be sorry!
Blessings to you and all your men
Dave
Very good reminder for me to not "hover" in an attempt to protect my son from every potential for pain and injury! Sigh….it sure is hard! <